Levi Grady Summers

Levi Grady Summers(Just baby boy at the time though since he didn't have a name yet), born 11.23.11, at 2:06pm at home in Austin Texas, 39 hours after my water broke.     He arrived letting out a sweet short cry and then opened his eyes and stared right into mine and then into Tristan's shortly after. He seemed so alert and mature for a newborn and perfectly sweet. Tristan and I couldn't believe how beautiful he was..the most beautiful newborn I had ever seen. I remember being worried that I would think he was funny looking. But I had nothing to worry about, he was BEAUTIFUL!  Tristan and I were just soaking him in.

Even though it was long, hard and painful..the moment he came out the pain was gone, and I was so happy and ready to do it again. I remember thinking over and over again, "I did it". I felt so empowered and strong.  Doing an Iron-man Triathlon no longer seemed too hard for me!!

 I am so glad my mom was there to witness it all and my dad was up the stairs in no time to come see as well.  We were so full of joy we wanted to share it with the whole world. I don't remember how long it was after he was born that I started nursing him but I think maybe only 5 to 10 minutes???  He latched on great right away and acted like he had been nursing for years!  I was so thankful and relieved that it seemed so natural and came so easy.
I remember kissing him over and over. His skin felt wet and soft. I can still remember how he felt and smelt.

Shortly after, Tristan's parents and his sister Holly headed over from Dan and Em's(more on their amazing hospitality later). If I remember correctly everyone oohed and ahhed for a while, the umbilical cord stopped pumping after and hour or so, Tristan cut it and then everyone(except Tristan of course) left us alone for awhile.

At this time Julia and Nina did Levi's apgar(he was 9 at birth and 10 the second time if I remember correctly) score again... I think, weighed him and measured him.  He was 7lbs 11oz and 20 inches.
Then Julia and Nina packed up and headed out, family returned for a little bit and then Tristan, Levi and  I bedded in for the night and our family hung out downstairs.  What a day! The best day!

He's here!!!!!!!!

One minute I was working hard and completely exhausted and the next moment the pain was gone and I was in utter bliss with my baby boy and husband. We don't have the actual footage of Levi being born but Tristan was smart enough to grab his phone shortly after. It's the most beautiful film I have ever seen in my life. Each time I re-live that moment I cry.  I can't even explain the way I felt. Tristan and I still  relive the moment over and over again  My midwife said it seemed like Tristan and I just shot out of the universe. I don't think I could have described it better.  We were in a whole new world and tripping on the beauty of the miracle of life.  We were both so emotional. Just blubbering. It was perfect. He was perfect. We were so happy. We were a family!

The end is near...

Near the end(the last few hours) I pushed for a long while on the corner of the bed, then headed to the birth stool for a while(which like I said before..I hated), then  back to the corner of the bed and then a minute and a half or so before Levi was born I got onto the bed in a  right side lying position. It was all hands on deck.  My mom was no longer videoing..she was holding up my left leg.  Tristan was up by my head. Nina and Julia were down below. These last few minutes were intense and I barley remember them.  And the next thing I knew he was here! The moment I had worked 40+ hours for!

A few labor pictures

Here are a few pictures from labor...the only modest ones I had.  After I got out of the shower, was checked and then began to push I never put any clothes back on.  I was just in my robe off and on.  I would get hot and take it off, then I would get cold and want it back on.  All that to say it was hard to have as many appropriate pictures and videos for the internet!  The last picture is of Julia using the Robozo on me!

A few Birth Videos

Here are some videos from my time pushing! I have lots more that are really awesome and interesting but not as modest. But this gives a small picture of what I was like during pushing.

2 steps forward, 1 step back

After Julia checked me, the next time a contraction came on I got to push. I don't remember much about what that was like at first or what position I pushed in at first. I pushed in SOOOO many different positions I just can'remember what I did when.

Basically for the next 10+ hours I pushed off and on.  My contractions came inconsistently the whole time!! At least once I took a 30 minute nap because I would sometimes go that long without having a contraction. It was difficult because a contraction would come, would be super strong, I would work really hard, make some good progress and then by the time the next contraction came it seemed like all my hard work was undone. Two steps forward, one step back.  

I spent a lot of time during the pushing stage walking back and forth upstairs and up and down the stairs trying to get the contractions to come on more. We used the breast pump too a lot to up my oxytocin. I would even walk through the contractions if Julia advised me to. It was such an active, exhausting time. And as Levi would get further down the birth canal the walking got more difficult.  There was just so much pressure with that big head of his.  I would slowly(VERY slowly) waddle back and forth trying as hard as I could to walk as fast as I could.  It was exhausting.

I remember drinking tons of water, apple juice, and gatorade, and taking spoonfulls of agave to keep me going. I can still remember how amazing a straight spoonful of agave tasted at that time, and what a great kick it would give me! 

I pushed with one leg up on the bed, on the birth stool(which I hated...it increased the "oh my gosh I'm going to rip in two sensation" by 10,000!), on the stairs, and maybe even on the toilet? BUT, my favorite position and the one I made the most progress with was a VERY low squat while holding on to the corner of the bed. I pushed in this position the most at the end. 

When the sun rose on the 23rd I remember thinking that it was a new day and we must be getting close to the end. I was wrong, but I didn't know that. I was just so thankful for a new day and that the Lord had made the sun to rise and set.  It was beautiful streaming in the stairwell window while Tristan and I were walking up and down the stairs.

Speaking of Tristan, I can't even begin to describe what a huge blessing he was to me during this whole thing.  He was right with me the whole time.  He provided just the right type and amount of encouragement. He was so supportive and calm and some how managed to be so strong yet very gentle. He was everything I needed.  He would walk up and down the stairs with me when I was utterly exhausted and put a pad underneath me when I pushed and clean up all my mess ...if you know what I mean!  It was the most romantic experience with him to date(I'm being totally serious..no sarcasm here!). I've never felt so appropriately loved by him.  It was such a bonding experience. I cry just thinking about it.  I love that man. He is a REAL man!  He's MY man!  Working with him during labor is something I am already looking forward to with the next one.  I'm so thankful we took our Bradley birth class...I think the education he received helped immensely. He really knew how to coach me to get the work done! I couldn't have done what I did without him.    

One point in labor(maybe around 10am on the 23rd), I had my arms around Julia's neck and was swaying my hips back and forth and she asked me if there was anything bothering me, or anything I thought might be hindering my progress. I told her I couldn't think of anything..really...at first..I couldn't. But, as I thought about it for a moment I realized that I REALLY wanted to have this baby at home and I didn't want to go to the hospital...and after being in labor SO long I was worried it was going to come to that.  So I told Julia my fear. She listened well..and I am sure replied with some encouraging words but I don't remember.  And now speaking of Julia.....

She was perfect...her and her assistant Nina were just what I needed. I am so thankful God brought me to her. She was calm, quietly did her job, and helped me to do mine in just the right way.  She guided me in what I needed to do and her and Nina were wonderful cheerleaders. Everytime we checked Levi's heart rate it was just right and she always got excited about that.  She would help me get my noises "down low" so they were helping me and giving me strength rather than letting them get high and out of control (uhhh uhhh uhh..ohh.ohh ohh verses ah..ahh..ahh). I was making my sounds purposeful.
 One thing she did was tell me to "reach down and touch your babies head." Which I did and it was quite an amazing feeling so EVERY time I got discouraged I would reach down and touch his head. It was awesome when I would feel his head getting lower and lower...closer and closer. Julia gave me lots of homeopathic pills of all kids during labor too..which I thought was so cool.  She also applied pressure with warm washcloths towards the end when Levi's head was crowning and I LOVED that. She also helped me to know where and how to push...it was painful when she did that but it REALLY helped.  She was so committed to helping Tristan and I safely and joyfully bring our baby into the world at home. She pulled out so many tricks it seemed.  The craziest of them all being her Robozo Scarf/wrap.  It was this huge piece of fabric she placed under my hips. She then stood over me and held the fabric and rotated my hips back and forth VERY forcefully.  This maneuver was SOO painful but really helped bring on strong contractions.

Pushing seemed really painful to me especially from crowning to the end. I had heard people say it's like a ring of fire...NOPE...not for me! It felt more like I was ripping apart..ripping in two. Or as my midwife described one of her births it was like, "giving birth to a dry brick." One time in my sheer exhaustion I said,"I don't think I am ever doing this again."

 I remember being surprised by the pain of it all yet at the same time it was pain with purpose and even though there were times I felt like quitting and even said "I can't do this." When I said I couldn't do it my birth team(Julia, Nina, Tristan, and my mom) quickly replied "yes you can, you ARE doing it." I loved hearing, "you are doing it." Because sure enough I was.  I was determined and the Lord was giving me strength.I just kept praising Him that I was still at home and that Levi was doing so great through it all.

I also want to mention my mom in this whole process. I loved having her there. Her mere presence helped me so much.  She kind of stayed in the background most of the time but just knowing she was there helped me to know everything was going to be ok...I mean..she's my momma and she is the most patient and calm person I have ever met. I hope she can be around for all my births.

Ok..Back to pushing.  You know that saying, "the sun is rise, the sun is set and we is still in Texas yet." Well for me it was, "The sun is rise(and rise again) and we is still a laboring yet."  Ha ha. I was exhausted but towards the last few hours things really picked up. We were really getting somewhere.

It's time to PUUUUUSH!!!!!!!!

So where we left off last time was the evening of the 22nd and things were starting to change.

 I remember going downstairs with Tristan to go out for a walk and seeing my family sitting on the couch watching something on a laptop. I remember thinking how badly I wanted to be with them but also how extremely tired I was. I did not want to go for a walk..AGAIN! But we did and it was good. I think this walk was starting to get pretty uncomfortable. Tristan may remember better than I what I was like.
 My contractions were getting stronger and closer together.  We never really timed them..so I don't know numbers. We were just taking them as they came and trying and praying for them to come more.

  When we got back from the walk I think Nina arrived and then Julia shortly after.  I think Nina could tell things were changing.As Tristan says often, it's not how often the contractions are coming ..it's all about the emotional sign posts.

  Amniotic fluid was still being produced and flowing here and there and was still looking good and Levi(who we really didn't know was Levi yet) had a super heart rate.

 So From about maybe 6pm to 1am or so I was mostly laboring on the toilet.... I think...just bracing myself, moving swaying, and moaning!

 At around 10ish I hit the 24hour mark since my water had broke so Julia gave me an IM antibiotic shot to prevent infection...I think is was rocephin?

 Somewhere after 10pm Julia told Tristan to turn up the hot water heater. Some how she knew I was about to go into transition and would need a hot shower for a long time.  It would have been great to be in a birthing pool I'm sure at this time but since my water had broken early that wasn't really an option..so the hot shower had to do.  I'm not sure what time I got in the shower but I feel like I was in there FOREVER.  For awhile I was standing and for a while I was on my hands and knees ...always rocking my pelvis and moaning during the contractions. I was so tired..I may have even laid down at some point...I don't remember. I just remember that at some point it was REALLY getting hard and I started singing my song that I sing when I think I can't do whatever I am doing any longer...when I'm in the thick of it...when life is hard..and my only comfort is knowing one day I will be home! The song is called Come For Me by Charlie Hall and I would sing it crying almost every day on the way to work when I worked on 4E at Spohn South in Corpus Christi.  It's often the cry of my heart when things are hard and gives me GREAT hope!!!
You can listen to it here: http://youtu.be/moNYIAF0VRk

And here is a video of me in the shower. Don't worry, you can't see anything. You just hear me moaning and  hear Tristan narrating!

I remember VERY clearly that when I got out of the shower Julia said she wanted to check me! WOAH..I was shocked...and excited but mostly just bracing myself for a let down..I mean..this was only my first exam and all...and even though my water had been broke over 24hours I still didn't want to get my hopes up. But to my surprise I was 10 centimeters dilated and could now push. I remember thinking..WOW..it's getting close..I thought for sure I only had 5 hours left max....boy was I wrong!!!

Getting Somewhere? Daytime 11.22.11

So we walked and used the breast pump ALOT that day. I don't remember much else about the daytime of the 22nd, except for a few things. Tristan may remember more and he is planning on doing a post from his perspective!

1. Stacy Bailey came and dropped off an amazing painting for Levi (more on the painting in another post) and I barley got to spend any time with her because I was suppose to be focusing!

2. I was starting to get tired towards the end of the day due to the lack of sleep I had had the night before.

3. I opened a gift from my mom's cousin Linda..it was a handmade quilt for Levi made in memory of my grandma Betty. There was at least once I cuddled up with it during labor and cried because I was tired and really missed my grandma. I kept thinking about her..wanting to call her and tell her what was going on...or just have her say one of her straightforward comments to make me laugh.

4. If I wasn't outside walking I was upstairs with Tristan..not downstairs with my family watching movies and distracting myself like I had imagined!

5. Bethany and John Ryan arrived about 1pm(??), only to be shewed away(to Dan and Em's..more on their amazing hospitality later) with my dad per my midwife and her assistant's request later that evening. This was the most stressful part of the whole experience for me. I REALLY wanted them to stay at the house. I felt like Nina and Julia didn't understand how close my family was to me. That they didn't understand that they wouldn't be a bother or stress me out if they stayed. I didn't understand at the time how much I needed to NOT be distracted and really focus to help the contractions come on stronger and more consistent.  Because my water had broke before labor had started and things weren't progressing I had to do all I could to focus and get that oxytocin going in my body.

6. From what I remember my contractions were still not consistent or strong..I don't really remember any pain yet....later in the day I think things got more uncomfortable. My mood was pretty up beat the whole day...I was a little anxious though and ready to get the show on the road!

7. I continued to eat(maybe I had a sandwich or 2) and drink A LOT. I couldn't get enough water and gatorade or emergen-c!

8. Nina(Julia's assistant) was there on and off during the day and Julia arrived at about 6:30 pm?

Here is a video Tristan took at about 5pm. Shortly after this video I think we went for a walk which is when I remember things starting  to change!

Get your walk on!

At around 4am or so my parents made it to our house so it was nice to wake up with them being in our house ready for action! So the sun rose and by 8am(maybe earlier)  I could not lay down any longer and it was time to call Nina, Julia's assistant and tell her my water had broke.  I gave her the scoop and she told me to get walking to try to help the contractions to come on stronger and more consistent since I wasn't having ANY by this time.
 So the 4 of us went out for a walk around our condo complex! I had a few contractions while walking but looking back... I couldn't even really call them contractions compared to what I experienced later. But over all I do feel the walking helped bring on the contractions which was what we were going for!

I feel like in most cases  labor comes on strong on it's own and women don't have to "work" to make contractions come..they just come. And usually they walk to distract themselves and work through the contractions..so already by this point in "labor"... if you could even call it that yet...things were not going as I had expected.  I was thinking I would be trying to "ignore" the contractions and try to relax through them...you know..use all the techniques we learned in birth class to help with pain!

I remember being on the walks and thinking.."wow, this is easy"...little did I know..little did I know!

But, I have to say  that even though I was tired from not sleeping the night before the walking with my parents and Tristan was really exciting. The anticipation was so high and I just LOVED that!

Here are a few videos of our walks:

 

A sleepless night..

So the 21st spilled over into the 22nd.  We were still awake at 12am getting things done around the house because the day before I got behind on house work and EVERY meal I made or project I started I didn't clean up.  I just let it all slide.  I can remember telling Kaye I had to stop doing that so I didn't go into labor when things were a mess!!!  I still can't believe I said that to her because sure enough..that is what happened. It just happened to happen a lot sooner than I had anticipated!

I changed into something I thought I would be comfortable laboring in and something that would be modest enough to take pics and hang out with family in. 

I had just been given a sheet of instructions from my midwife on what to do if my water broke maybe a week or 2 before.  One of the instructions was to not call her if it broke after 10pm and things were ok(clear amniotic fluid,no temp, good fetal movement,etc, etc.) and I was not in active labor. Another instruction she gave was to get some sleep.  So once we were done getting stuff done we decided we would TRY to get some sleep.  This was A LOT harder to do than we thought it would be.

Here are a few videos from the wee hours of the morning on 11.22.11:

Take note of how chipper I look in this video...I was obviously feeling NOTHING!!! :) And we were so naive as too the long hard hours that were a head of us!

 

Take note of how Tristan describes my contractions in that video, "stronger menstrual cramps." That's for sure what they felt like at that time. Little did I know what I was experiencing was NOTHING compared to what the contractions would feel like later.

So at about 2:30 am after trying to watch a movie on the bathroom floor Tristan and I both got really hungry but we didn't have much food in the house and what we did have needed to be prepared, and neither of us felt like making any thing.  I got a text from my BFF Kate at 2:30am offering to do whatever we needed...actually she had sent the text a lot earlier BUT my phone was being stupid and I got it late. So thinking she was awake Tristan called her and asked if she could bring us some food...not realizing that we were waking her up! Ugh..I felt so bad... but Kate didn't skip a beat and was over to our place with a spread of great labor food. I am so glad she came over because the memory of the 3(4 including Levi!) of us sitting on our bathroom floor eating together at 3am  is priceless. 

When Kate let we tried to go to sleep. Tristan climbed back in our bed and I stayed on the pallet on the floor by the toilet since the contractions were still making me feel like I needed to pee all the time! 

I tried to go to sleep and I think I did some but there was a really loud thunder and lightening storm that kept me awake more than the contractions. Actually I don't think I was having any contractions a little after I tried to go to sleep.  And there started the trend of my on and off contractions, something I never expected.

A video

Here is a video that I forgot to put on the post for 11.21.11.  It's a video Tristan took right after my water broke. It's a sweet memory to me. I remember just looking at Tristan thinking how we were about to go from a family of 2 to a family of 3..it just took a little longer to get there than I had expected!