9.20.2011

First Trimester Re-cap

My first trimester seems so long ago now. Maybe because it was. My first tri was about February 26th-May 26th. It seemed like an eternity. Much longer than than the second tri seemed.

Here are a few things I want to remember about the first trimester of my first pregnancy:

-I really didn't think I was really pregnant. It seemed to unreal.

-I wasn't always thinking about the fact I was pregnant..probably because it didn't seem real...but I think it was in the back of my mind all the time.

-I felt guilty that it didn't seem real. Like something was wrong with me for not feeling an instant connection to the little life growing inside of me.

-I wasn't horribly sick but I sure didn't feel good most of the time.

- I didn't start feeling bad till about 6 weeks.

-I only threw up about 5 times. Mostly when I was brushing my teeth in the morning.

-Sometimes I needed a trash can in front of me while I was using the restroom because even that made me nauseated

-I didn't have real specific cravings all the time. I just loved food the same as I always do...except maybe a bit more!

-I craved hotdogs once and Tristan and I went out and bought organic hotdogs and I had one for breakfast.

-Oh, I was CRAZY about Popsicles, drinks with ice....anything really cold I LOVED!!!

-When I felt nauseated many times NOTHING really helped and I tried everything. Sometimes you just feel bad...heck..your pregnant and growing a human. I didn't give myself much of a break though mentally. I just felt guilty that I wasn't the super woman I wanted to be.

-I ate a lot of saltines, and beans.

-I barley worked out. I was too tired or unmotivated to when I got home from work. The couch was calling my name. And in the morning I had a hard enough time getting going and out the door for work I couldn't bare the thought of waking up an hour earlier to go work out too.

-I often felt nauseated throughout the day and if I let my stomach get empty it burned like crazy and made me more nauseated. Hence I was eating little snacks ALL day long.

-I gained about 6-8 pounds which is above the average gain you should have if you only want to gain 25-35lbs for the whole pregnancy.

-I was kind of depressed about the weight gain because I had expectations for myself that I didn't live up to. I'm over it now though. "It's in the past"

- I was pretty depressed most of the first trimester..which made me more sad because I felt bad about being sad. I was pregnant and having a baby.....I wanted to be joyful, motherly and excited at ALL times...isn't that how you are suppose to be? That's what I thought at least. I was tired, wrapping up the school year at Austin High, lots of things were about to change, I had many unmet expectations for myself, hormones were changing, I wasn't being productive, and most of all wasn't walking closely with Jesus....all that added up to a hard few months. A mom on a blog I follow posted recently about her depression during pregnancy and how it was more common than people let on...REALLY? I had no idea...I thought I was the only woman ever to feel sad during a time when I should feel so happy. Thankful God did not make us to live alone.

-Tristan did ALL the laundry, dishes,etc. He was an angel. He never complained once and joyfully served me. He is an amazing husband and loves me more and better than the day before EVERY day. I love him so.

-I was bloated and gassy all the time.

-I started reading TOO many books on infant care and feeding(everyone thinks their way is the right way, the only way...so confusing!)

-I thought I knew what a baby bump was during my first trimester. HAHAHAHA!!!!

-You couldn't tell at all I was pregnant the whole first trimester. Sometimes that was frustrating...I wanted to LOOK pregnant!!

- I could wear all my regular clothes.

-It started to get REALLY hot at the end of my first trimester. My tolerance for being hot totally deteriorated. I told Tristan that it felt hotter than when we were in India. He said no way...it was much hotter when we were in India. I didn't believe him.

-I was only seeing my OBGYN that did my surgery during the first trimester. I was still only in the searching for the right midwife stage.

-I already knew I wanted to do a home birth.

-Tristan was on board with the homebirth thing but REALLY got excited about it once we watched the Business of Being Born(lovely documentary on birth in America today).

-I tried going Raw Vegan for a week and it was a disaster. If I had been doing it before I got pregnant I might have been able to do it for some of the first tri but oddly enough it just made me feel super sick. The worst sickness I had was after the 2 days of trying to do it.

-I couldn't stand raw veggies especially kale, spinach, and broccoli. I never really wanted a salad unless it was made with Romaine or Iceburg.....what???? Who was I. Fortunately that went away when the first tri was over. Fortunatly I could still do green smoothies to help me get my greens.

-I got all my pre-natals with DHA from the Dr. for free. His nurse told me to ask for free samples every time I went..so I did. I still am using up my stash from my last visit with the Dr. July 13th!

-I couldn't sleep very well.

-I could not believe we were having a baby. That we were going to be parents.

-I LOVED(and still do...I always have really) talking to other moms and hearing about their birth story, what kind of feedings they did(schedule, on demand, etc)..anything and everything I could soak up.... I did.

First trimester...you were hard.....and yes I am so thankful you are over! BUT, I am so very thankful for EVERY bit of the hormones, sickness, sadness, and weight gain because the Lord sustained my boy and I through it(and my sweet husband). I often hear(and my Dr. even told me) that if you are sick and tired it just means your hormones are doing the right thing and that you are having a healthy pregnancy(although I sure didn't feel "healthy"). Many babies don't make it past the first trimester but you did little fellow, so it was all worth it and I am so thankful the Lord brought us through. He was with us every step of the way! Jehovah Shammah!

5 comments:

kaye herbert said...

loved this review and your honesty about it. looking forward to tri 2's re cap!:)

ps you looked amazing in your 1st tri and still do! :) forget the scale and just nourish!

Carrie said...

Ok. I have to say I really appreciated reading this A LOT because all of your statuses were all so very, um, perky. =) And I think it's very important to remember that it's a blessing to BE pregnant and have children. I also don't particularly enjoy being pregnant AT ALL and find it a very hard stage of life to get through. Perky pregnant people annoy me. =D I'm totally on board with the blessing, the wonder, the excitement, the amazement, the patience it takes, the ultimate benefit. That's all a part of it.

For me it's also about complete, total exhaustion (this time with two little boys under my care at the same time! ahhhh!!!), the food aversions (the smell of boiling water. Who knew water could smell so violently disgusting?!), the throwing up, the weight gain, the comments about how large I'm growing despite eating extremely well, etc., etc., etc.

Being pregnant is an un-easy blessing in my book. The benefit definitely makes it all so very, very worth it but ...yowee! Takes a lot of work to get to the end!

All that to say - thank you for being honest. You have sort of restored my faith in humanity in general. ;D LOL! I'm not sure how you are supposed to take that last sentence really...

Tristan & Melissa Summers said...

Carrie- Thank you for sharing. It's not very often you hear people say pregnancy was hard. Sure people say they were sick and didn't feel good but so many still always seem so happy. Which ultimately I was happy during all my first trimester sadness...the "happy" was just more like a deep gratitude and sustaining joy I guess.

You are right about all my posts on facebook being "perky" ..ha ha...I only share my happy things to that world since I can't fully explain myself further(and don't really wish to) to the facebook world. I am always afraid of being one of those complaining facebook people..or one of those who always post so much negativity. Which even though I have bad days..or bad weeks and months even....negativity really isn't me or who I want to be.
Also, with facebook I feel there are so many people who would be hurt if I just shared a snippet of my sadness in pregnancy. There are SOOO many women/ couples out there who can't get pregnant or would give anything not to miscarry. And I would hate for anyone to misunderstand me. So sometimes it's easier to keep things to myself(and Tristan..and a few others sometimes). Because let's be honest... This is the best and most exciting thing that has ever happened to me and you of all people know I have been waiting for years to be a mom! :) It's a miracle, a joy, a gift...even if I am not the pregnant person I always dreamed I would be! I am thankful somehow God saw fit to let me bare my own child. I don't deserve it.

LESSYE CAM said...

Melissa! My mom told me you guys were pregnant and I'm thrilled for you!! I was excited to find your blog as well :)

Carrie said...

Melissa,

Hey! I just thought to myself that I had never come back through to check and see if you had responded!

Yes, I totally hear you. I agree for the most part. Except apparently I threw one person for a loop once who started feeling like they were a horrible mom because I only post about the funny/positives. After hearing THAT I decided to be a bit more real (sometimes.) Most times I think it best to keep the negative to one's self. But I also do appreciate honesty and real emotions, no matter how ugly because they are a part of us and we're all working through something. (Sometimes sharing the hard things shows the grace of God more clearly. Sometimes it's just dirty laundry aired for no good reason.)

On the flip side, I also made someone feel bad once (maybe more times than I know of) because I said I didn't like being pregnant. And I don't. It's equally true that I dislike being pregnant and that I absolutely love and adore being a mommy. I believe it to be the greatest blessing. But I don't find the process very fun.

So it's a mix for me but both are violently true. =D

Anyway...all that to say that I understand your position. I agree that FB is tricky and no matter which way I swing I find that unless you explain things in detail sometimes people will misunderstand. Also an unavoidable fact.

It's very fun following your journey because, yes, I do know:

a.) That you've long been waiting to be a mommy; and

b.) That you and Tristan are going to make positively FANTASTIC parents!

It's a joy just to be able to follow your journey from a distance! Thank you for sharing all that you do.